University of Lobbyists

Become a lobbyist by graduating from the finest institution of Texas government. Our legislature process can train you to become a lobbyist in a short time. It is guaranteed that once you are elected and completed the legislator’s course, the process will land you on a lucrative lobbying position with extraordinary financial benefit.  While you are being trained to become a lobbyist, you will receive financial aid for $7,200 a year. So, hurry up and get elected to become a legislator to start your journey of becoming a successful lobbyist eventually.

Below is the 4 step process of how to become a successful lobbyist:

1). Election process 
2). Get elected  
3). Get trained by the legislature process

4). Graduate and become a lobbyist.

To start the election process, start spending money (yours or donations) for advertisements. Don’t worry; if you spend your own money, it is an investment; it will payoff big in the future, guaranteed. Come up with some mumbo-jumbo ads of negative stuff about your opponents, and positive ones with your family and pets in it. Make sure you make a nice slides show of you with your family, doing family activities like reading to your kids, walking with your wife, and make sure to hold hands and smile. During your campaign, use a lot of family words and phrases. If you are visiting some work places, wear jeans and a hardhat.  Make sure you act like a shark when making campaign movie clips; if any politician is not popular and is bleeding, go after him or her. Attack any bill that is not popular as well. Shake a lot of hands; use the sentences like “We want to get our state back.”

Seriously, that is how the local election system and becoming a lobbyist work. It is a big threat to the integrity of the Texas legislative process when a former legislator becomes a lobbyist. In that case, the lobbyist has access to the legislative staff, but is no longer beholden to the Texas citizen. However, he or she has obligations to a paying client.

Lobbyists are in direct communication with legislative or executive branch officials to influence their decisions about public policy. In Texas, lobbyists play a significant role in influencing legislation and shaping administrative actions. The action may not be in the best interest of Texas citizens. Many businesses and other groups pay lobbyists to represent their interests before the Texas Legislature.

Now, the question is: what to do about it? Are we stuck with a corrupted legislative system? Sir Winston Churchill (British politician 1874-1965) figured out the answer when he said “democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.”